We have all heard the wonderful pick up lines that men come to us with - are you from Tennessee cause you are the only 10 I see; are your legs tired cause you have been running through my mind all day; hi, I am an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus. The classic ambigous one-liners that guys attempt to get a foot into the bedroom door. I was always curious as to whether girls actually fell for these lines.
Going out Saturday night for a friend's birthday party, I got to see first hand at guys' pick up lines and girls' responses to same. It was an eventful evening and I am glad I went as it was an experience and a half.
I guess to paint the background picture, we (as in 6 girls and 1 guy) were dancing near our table as the dancefloor was packed and a guy came up and asked the girl beside me if she wanted to dance. She said no, he replied with something along the lines of him not seeing a wedding ring (points for observation I guess), and she says that she is pregnant (and what is funny is that she is about 80 pounds wet, but she managed to stick out her gut enough to make it look like she was pregnant). He then backs away, turns to another girl in our group and asks her to dance, and her, not liking the idea of being sloppy seconds, replies to him that she will dance with him if he is her baby's daddy. Shockingly, or maybe not so shockingly, he stuck around and they danced. Did he know that we were laughing at him; did he like the very straightforward honesty that the girl gave him about wanting him to be the father of her child (she does not want to get pregnant, to make sure that is clear); was he just so horny that he was trying to pick up anybody (no offense to the girl)? It got me to thinking about pick up lines and what works on men and women.
In a study done by Bale et al (2006), they found that women don't like the wonderful, fantabulous one-liners, sexual innendoes or even compliments as an introduction (are those space pants cause your ass is outta this world!!). If women did respond to the risque pick-up lines and cheesy compliments, these women prefer the 'bad boys', and, what's uber interesting is that these women scored high on psychotocism, which is a measure of antisocial tendencies (Cooper et al, 2007). I guess it depends on what the girl is looking for - if she is looking for a one night thing, coyote ugly type of situation, then the one-liners would work perfectly for them. However, if, on the other hand, it was me, I would laugh at the one-liner, tell him to go find a drunker woman, and good luck. Although, sometimes I find it quite outstanding when a guy out and out asks for sex. No beating around the bush, no innuendoes or hazy lines. I find it outstanding, yes, but would I jump into it, absolutely not. A study has agreed with my view as they found that men were rated lowest when they directly requested sex or used sexual humor (Wade, Butrie and Hoffman, 2009).
I guess it would be hard to say what pick up line would work on a person as it depends on the situation and the person. While I was out at dinner, I was talking with a guy and he was telling me that he makes good money, he looks good as he works out, he checks out women all the time, he wants a sexy secretary. I don't know if he was trying to impress me with his lifestyle, but it wasn't working. However, studies has shown that a man's chances of picking up a woman will be greater when he displays personal qualities, interests, wealth (Cooper et al 2007) and cultural accomplishments. Maybe it depends on how it is portrayed as I find that when men start spouting off their income, where they have all travelled, it is almost boasting. Maybe a guy who comes across as charming yet humble will be the perfect mix. It can't sound contrived or practiced, that is absolutely key. It's like watching a guy dance who you can just tell that they practiced in the mirror before they went out to make sure they looked good. The pick up lines that do work are straightforward, direct comments that come from the situation at hand, not something previously thought of (Cooper et al 2007).
As for the women and their pick up lines, it was found that those who used direct lines, as in directly asking for a date, hinting at a date, stuff like that. Don't beat around the bush with men, and we have been told taht for a looong time. Men needs things laid out for them, nothing hidden or subtexted. Also, similarly to what women don't like, men do not like sexual humour (your shirt matches my bed spread, basically you belong in my bed - maybe it is too many words for a man to comprehend, especially if they have been drinking a lot) (Wade, Butrie & Hoffman, 2009). Which makes me wonder why the pick up line of being her baby's daddy worked and if it was because he knew it was a joke.
Finally, what about women during their menstrual cycle? I am pretty sure that somewhere along my schooling, it was noted that when women are on their period, they are at their most horniest (I don't know what the scholastic way to put that), so does that affect the portrayal of men's pick up lines? It has been found that women in the fertile stage of the menstrual cycle agreed more favourably to an explicit courtship request. (Gueguen, 2009). It is contributed to the fact that women give higher facial attractiveness scores to men's face during their fertial stage. I guess this could be the woman's version of beer goggles. And perhaps the reasons behind many of one night stand babies. Clearly we need friends to be our judgment when we are in our fertile stage.
So when it is all said and done, there will always be those guys who use the one liners, laugh at themselves for being so funny and then expect you to start salivating at the hope of being with that guy, and there will always be the flip side of the guys, who tells the women what they make, what body type they like, all the places they have travelled, etc etc. As per normal, we need the Goldilocks answer - a little bit of both. Having a guy with humour is nice, not slap-stick humor or back handed compliments humour however, and having a guy who can sound like a gentleman and treat a woman like a woman is nice as well. So, if anyone ever meets one of these guys, and if this is what you are wanting, I tell you now, keep that guy - they are few and far between judging from all my associations with men at least out in the night life....
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Dorothy, Cinderella, Carrie - all shoe lovers, all part of a girl's life
Who doesn't remember Cinderella and the fact that she would never have met Prince Charming (don't get me started on the fact that he doesn't have a real name) if the Fairy Godmother never gave her those kick ass glass slippers. Or in newer times, Mary Horowitz from All About Steve and her Red Boots? I have always wanted a red pair of shoes just like Dorothy and now Mary Horowitz, but then I also think that if I click my heels together three times, I will get transported to Neverland. And then there is Carrie, the person who probably introduced the world to the brand name Manolo Blahnik. As I walk to and from work, I see many women wearing heels, some who can't walk in them and others who look like they were born with them and it got me to thinking why the people who can not walk in heels still do so. So I started to do some research on heels and women and men and I found some interesting pieces of information.
I was so excited at first when I read about a study done in England back in 2010 that says that men don't notice women in heels. I figured - yay - for the people who wear shoes to attract men, don't waste the money or the pain to try to get noticed. But then I started reading more, and thanks to my wonderful psych classes, I noticed that the study hasn't been published anywhere. So I keep hunting on the net, and I find another article that addresses my concern - the study had not been through the peer review process or published, which basically means that this Dr. Neave guy could be a basement dwelling hermit who decided to post something on the Internet and say that it is a brand new study. So the jury is still out whether or not men actually notice women in heels.
However, there was a study done (which has been published and peer reviewed) that talked about shoes and attraction, and it was found that men thought women were attractive if heels lengthened our legs by a few inches (roughly about 5% longer than our 'normal' leg length). But there is a line - very long legs were not found as sexy as just a tad longer of legs. So heels are beneficial, but moderate/wearable heels. Okay, that I can do and understand.
But my browsing did not stop there. I also came across a study where they looked at the physical benefits of high heels for women, since it is a known statement that high heels can contribute to shapely legs, and this study showed that heels improve more than just legs - it can tone a woman's abdomen and pelvic floor (similar to the effects of doing Kegel exercises), which can make sex more enjoyable. Same as in the last study, this study also mentioned that the heels have to be moderate - no more than about 3 inches high to have a beneficial effect. Again, that is good news as that is a walkable shoe for most of us girls.
I, for one, do love heels, but I make sure that I can walk in them, and they are comfy, and depending on where I am/what I am doing. If I am in for a long night of dancing, I could care less if the guys will look at my feet and scorn at the fact that I am not wearing high enough heels for them. This is another reason why I would rather be comfy and myself than being in pain and trying to impress people in materialistic ways. I say that if you are comfy and you exude sexiness in other ways, screw the shoes and laugh at all the women who look absolutely ridiculous stumbling around cause they can't walk and are trying to look sexy. Note to those girls - you don't look sexy, but keep on wearing those shoes as it allows girls like me to laugh at you and steal all the boys you were trying to get. Score one for the comfy shoes.
I was so excited at first when I read about a study done in England back in 2010 that says that men don't notice women in heels. I figured - yay - for the people who wear shoes to attract men, don't waste the money or the pain to try to get noticed. But then I started reading more, and thanks to my wonderful psych classes, I noticed that the study hasn't been published anywhere. So I keep hunting on the net, and I find another article that addresses my concern - the study had not been through the peer review process or published, which basically means that this Dr. Neave guy could be a basement dwelling hermit who decided to post something on the Internet and say that it is a brand new study. So the jury is still out whether or not men actually notice women in heels.
However, there was a study done (which has been published and peer reviewed) that talked about shoes and attraction, and it was found that men thought women were attractive if heels lengthened our legs by a few inches (roughly about 5% longer than our 'normal' leg length). But there is a line - very long legs were not found as sexy as just a tad longer of legs. So heels are beneficial, but moderate/wearable heels. Okay, that I can do and understand.
But my browsing did not stop there. I also came across a study where they looked at the physical benefits of high heels for women, since it is a known statement that high heels can contribute to shapely legs, and this study showed that heels improve more than just legs - it can tone a woman's abdomen and pelvic floor (similar to the effects of doing Kegel exercises), which can make sex more enjoyable. Same as in the last study, this study also mentioned that the heels have to be moderate - no more than about 3 inches high to have a beneficial effect. Again, that is good news as that is a walkable shoe for most of us girls.
I, for one, do love heels, but I make sure that I can walk in them, and they are comfy, and depending on where I am/what I am doing. If I am in for a long night of dancing, I could care less if the guys will look at my feet and scorn at the fact that I am not wearing high enough heels for them. This is another reason why I would rather be comfy and myself than being in pain and trying to impress people in materialistic ways. I say that if you are comfy and you exude sexiness in other ways, screw the shoes and laugh at all the women who look absolutely ridiculous stumbling around cause they can't walk and are trying to look sexy. Note to those girls - you don't look sexy, but keep on wearing those shoes as it allows girls like me to laugh at you and steal all the boys you were trying to get. Score one for the comfy shoes.
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